If ever I loved you:

You are in my veins. 
We have traded cells--a filament of my heart wrapped somewhere 'round your bones.
I sometimes feel your heart beat. 
It tickles me behind the ear or scratches my finger tips--a tingling sensation.
It catches me off guard, makes me blink. I send you love, joy, sorrow. 
Maybe you don't feel it.

When you die, a piece of me will ache. Forever.

I wish sometimes that I could gather all my pieces together and bind them in the shape of myself.
But, this would only serve to jail them--and me.

So, I am destined to lay--splayed open and bleeding--submitted to the frailty of love.
Each capillary cut or broken: a nagging bruise, a painful ache.
Each artery joyful and flowing: a life force.
Such abundance eases the pain of loss. Yet,

My heart lie open, trying to breathe air.
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2 thoughts on “If Ever I Loved You

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